Writing has always been a passion of mine, whether its stories, poems or even a diary input. It wasn’t until today though that I realised how therapeutic I find it. I had a really bad day today. One of those days where I just wanted to cry and get it out my system. I was stressed, overwhelmed and fed up!! If I wanted to be really cynical (easy to do), it would seem when one aspect of your life is going well the other part goes to shit.
I started a new job just before the Christmas break. I was excited to learn about a new part of the business and enjoy my promotion. I was excited to move on. I’m now on my 4th week and I am NOT enjoying it at all. Everyone keeps asking me “Are you enjoying your new role?”. I feel bad when I say no! I don’t understand how I can enjoy it. It’s so different to what I did, the people are different, I don’t have a clue what I am doing and it is just soooooo busy! I want to scream “Noooo I am bloody not, stop asking stupid questions!”
I can’t decide if I am putting undue pressure on myself, missing my old team, completely out my depth, have loads to learn or probably all of the above. I’m someone who likes to be good at what they do, produce good quality work and know what I am doing and talking about. I think today I became overwhelmed with all aspects of my work. I feel as though as I get into it more and increase my knowledge my to do list significantly gets added to and then I am again drowning in a sea of stress levels to high for my liking.
I didn’t cry. I came home, stopping to buy wine on my way. I sat down to unwind for 10 minutes and watched The Chase. I picked up my laptop to see what the daily prompt was and started to write. 10 minutes after starting my poem I had forgotten all about the troubles of my day. I was lost in a world of words. Words that I could form in anyway to portray a message I wanted to create.
A while later I realised I hadn’t cried, I hadn’t dwelled on my day. I found my release, my happy place.