Fight the urge

Well it’s been a while fellow bloggers! I feel like I’ve barely had a second to stop and relax let alone write down my thoughts or feelings. It seems just keeping track off them these past couple of weeks has been a challenge in itself. I am currently sat on the sofa with a glass of wine trying not to fall asleep.

Work continues to be a complete and utter crazy place to be, too much to do, not enough time and unrealistic expectations and deadlines but hey whats new?! I had the pleasure of taking Monday and Tuesday of work this week, or so I thought! I was very much looking forward to my 4 day weekend, (although the stress you go back to sometimes is not worth it). Anyway, I had 4 whole days to my self…yay!

I’ve nearly been in my little place a year and I thought I would finally tackle my spare room. I tidied and sorted it all out a couple of weeks ago and it was time to decorate. I was looking forward to it. Two days to strip and prime and a day to decorate (based on my experience with the living room and bedroom). Hahaha! Why I ever thought this was a good idea i’ll never know.

It was disastrous! It was hard work. I was cut and grazed. I wanted to go back to work after 3 days, seriously. It took me nearly all this time to just to see bare walls. There were about 6 layers before I finally reached them. I grafted the whole time, my brother and a friend even helped out at different points. Being the thorough person I am, I removed the plastic strips around the window to get all the layers from underneath so I would have a perfect finish. As soon as I did this the plaster on the walls around the window crumbled and I could see  A LOT of bare brick.

I just wanted to cry. All I wanted was to finally get the room looking nice. Have a nice break from work and de-stress. Like writing, I found decorating my other rooms quite therapeutic and seeing the final result makes it worth while. It was far from that and going back to work Wednesday I was more stressed than when I left.

As with everything in life though, no matter how much we want to, we just can’t quit. Well I can’t, it’s not my style. I drove forward all weekend to carry on, thinking of the final result, the benefits of having a usable room,  even though I wanted to just stop and give in.

It’s the same at work. I can’t quit. I fight the urge every day to just pack it in because I am not enjoying it and it’s not what I expected.

I carry on my forward drive with all these things, with life itself, because that is how I learn and that’s how I reap the benefits. We all know we should stick at it. We know we need to drive ourselves. We secretly knew we could always do it, even if we moan the whole way! 🙂


Forward Drive


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